We live in a world that constantly asks, “What do you do?”

From a young age, we’re conditioned to equate our identity with our profession. Our job titles, our salaries, and our career progression become the primary metrics by which we measure our worth. We make our career the centerpiece of our lives, believing that as long as it’s moving up and to the right, we are successful. But this is a fragile way to live. What happens when the centerpiece is removed?

I’ve faced that question multiple times. I’ve been fired. I’ve been laid off during the worst moment of a global pandemic. I’ve been divorced. I’ve stood on the brink of financial ruin. Each of these moments was terrible in its own way. Each one carried feelings of failure, embarrassment, and uncertainty. As painful as they were, however, none of them completely devastated me.

They didn’t break me because I had the journey taught me a fundamental truth: I was more than my job, more than my relationship, and more than my bank account.

When one pillar of my life wobbled, others—built intentionally on my own terms, grounded in my values and passions—held me up. When I was laid off from IBM in 2020, the professional loss was cushioned by the fact that I still had my teaching roles at two universities, work that I loved and that gave me a deep sense of purpose. When I got divorced, the heartbreak was balanced by the fulfillment I found in coaching math students and the unwavering support of dear friends and family.

This isn’t about luck; it’s about life design. A life built in alignment isn’t just about feeling happy and fulfilled when things are good. It’s about building resilience. It’s about diversifying your identity so that no single setback can rob you of your sense of self. It’s about becoming anti-fragile—not just withstanding shocks, but actually growing stronger from them.

So many people treat their reinvention as a siloed, career-only project. They think, “If I can just find that one dream job, everything else will fall into place.” But a new career cannot be sustained on a weak life foundation. It will crumble under the pressure of old habits, unsupportive relationships, and a depleted sense of self.

True reinvention is a holistic integration. It demands that you obsess over the non-career elements of your life just as much as your professional goals. It means getting your finances in order, not to get rich, but to create a runway for change. It means intentionally seeking out your ‘new people’—a community that understands and supports the person you are becoming, not just the person you used to be. It means investing in your well-being, your passions, and the relationships that fill you up.

When you build a life with multiple, sturdy pillars—purpose, people, financial stability, and personal presence—the pressure to find one perfect job disappears. Your career becomes one important part of a rich, meaningful whole, not the fragile centerpiece.

Ask yourself today: If your job disappeared tomorrow, what would be left? Who would you be? If the answer scares you, it’s not a sign of weakness, but an invitation. An invitation to start building a life so full, so aligned, and so true to yourself that you are unshakable, no matter what storm comes your way.